1. You plan to tell the child she is adopted
2. You will always treat this child as well as your bio children (if applicable)
3. You agree to an open adoption and intend to honor that agreement and obtain their OBC for them
4. You allow your children to seek out their birth families and support them understanding it isn't a loyalty or love issue and not mere curiosity. It is a search for the missing parts of yourself.
5. Address that you can't "love" their loss away and make the issue of adoption something that is OK to talk about.
6. Understand their heritage is not your heritage. Most adoptees take a mix of both to build their id's with.
7. You love kids and love being a mom/dad and would honestly risk your life to protect them just like if they were born to you.
8. Understand there is a stigma surrounding adoption from horrible practices of the past. Others will question your family bonds and judge you for being infertile. Adoptees are viewed as less adjusted.
9. Honor the Birthmother always and don't tell the whole world your kid is adopted unless you are asked.
10. When you go to the doctor remember their medical history is not your medical history
Adoption should be about finding homes for kids that need it and not creating orphans to give to childless couples. I am against embryo adoption for this reason. I support adoption from foster care as long as birth family contact is understood and respected. Adoption should always be a last resort.